Meet Virginia

Spoiler: I've never liked the song.

Train’s song, “Meet Virginia”, became popular my first year of college.

And boy did I hate it the first time I heard it.

It made me cringe just like when people would look at me and say,

“Yes, Virginia, there is a Santa Claus”.

Or when they found out my nickname was Ginny, so they called me “Guinea Pig” or made Forrest Gump references.

Without fail-for over a year of my life-during a pivotal time where I’m transitioning from high school to college and trying to navigate a new world-people would start singing this awful song to me.

Without fail.

Friends and strangers would think they were so clever once they connected the dots of the popular song and my given name at birth.

Years later, I had sympathy for humans named Karen.

It got to the point where when I introduced myself, I’ll literally say “Yes, just like the song. please don’t sing it to me”

The joke was old. It was tired. It wasn’t funny. The song wasn’t even good. IMO.

Let’s break down the lyrics to truly show why this song isn’t about me.

She doesn't own a dress: Well, yes, I actually own several
Her hair is always a mess Umm, that’s rude
If you catch her stealin', she won't confess I’m too much of a rule follower to steal anything. I’m the person that will take something back if I realized I wasn’t charged for it. I believe in karma.
She's beautiful. Okay, that’s true.

Smokes a pack a day Gross, no
Wait that's me, but anyway Still gross and such a sign of the 90s
She doesn't care a thing about that, hey Never dated anyone who smoked because again gross
She thinks I'm beautiful No I don’t, don’t speak for me
Meet Virginia

She never compromises Ummm, my husband may say I’m stubborn, but overall, I realize that you have to compromise in this world to get anything done
Loves babies and surprises Who doesn’t?
Wears high heels when she exercises That makes no damn sense
Ain't that beautiful No it isn’t
Meet Virginia

Well, she wants to be the Queen I don’t
Then she thinks about her scene Which scene? Please be specific
Pulls her hair back as she screams
"I don't really wanna be the queen" Why are you trying to make me be queen? Why can’t you leave me alone?

Her daddy wrestles alligators Lou was a lot of things but an alligator wrestler wasn’t one of them
Mama works on carburetors Nope, that isn’t Candee’s skillset.
Her brother is a fine mediator for the President Nope, and why does it have to be my nonexistent brother?
Well, here she is again on the phone I do love to talk
Just like me hates to be alone Not true, while I love being around people, there’s nothing better than a good hurkle durkle and solitary reset.
We just like to sit at home and rip on the President Depends on who it is
Meet Virginia, alright

Well, she wants to live her life I mean sure
And she thinks about her life Again, who doesn’t?
Pulls her hair back as she screams Why do I keep pulling my hair back?
"I don't really wanna live this life" I’ve always been an optimist…don’t be so negative, Train.

No, no
No, no
No, no
No

She only drinks coffee at midnight I don’t drink coffee at all, and I’m normally asleep by 10:30
When the moment is not right What moment?
When timing is quite unusual Timing for what?
You see her confidence is tragic I mean I AM confident, but why is it tragic?
But her intuition magic That’s true though
And the shape of her body unusual Dude, what?

Meet Virginia
I can't wait to
Meet Virginia
Yeah, yeah, hey, hey, hey I don’t want to meet you. Please stop singing.

This memory of the early 2000s is important to me now in 2024.

This Virginia sings classic 2000s songs like TLC’s “No Scrubs”, 702’s “Where My Girls At” and Destiny’s Child’s “Survivor” and “Independent Women”.

This Virginia doesn’t let others define who she is.

This Virginia is a confident mother of three who will say what’s on her mind and will always stand up for what she believes is right.

This Virginia will defend her friends and loved ones. She will bully the bullies who hurt the people she loves.

This Virginia doesn’t give a F if she is liked or not. Her inner circle knows her character and heart, and that’s enough for her.

This Virginia believes in building a longer table-not a fence, but not everyone is welcome at her table. And she won’t apologize for that.

This Virginia is going to continue to be loud and energetic and passionate.

Meet This Virginia.

She’s much better than the Train version.